Category: Motivational

The reality is that people sometimes do stupid things for stupid reasons. Our motivations aren’t always pure and worthy and too often we get carried away by emotions that lead us to do things we later regret. This happens a lot because we are human.

To be human is to be flawed. It is to be stupid at the worst possible moments in ways that will reverberate in painful memories that we feel later like we’ll never live down. Sometimes we don’t try our best. Sometimes we actively hurt ourselves and those around us because of the pain we are feeling and we act in ways that are senseless.

And it’s okay.

It’s not great of course. But at the end of the day, a reasonable person understands the difficulty of self-control, the challenge of being able to put our best foot forward day in and day out without lapses or moments of weakness where we struggle to be who we want to be rather than who we feel like.

We feel our own pleasure and pain first and foremost, and only notice the pleasure and pain of others secondarily through our ability to reflect and imagine what others must be feeling. This requires effort. Sometimes we just don’t feel capable. So selfishness is truly an understandable state.

Sometimes people can lash out in malice and then try to justify to themselves that the other deserves it. Cognitive dissonance can trap people in cycles of hatred and pain. These things are unfortunate. But they are understandably human reactions.

The important thing, the thing that not enough people do, is face the pain in themselves and recognize the extent to which they are holding onto things they don’t really need to. Sometimes it’s something they just can’t let go of. In which case one must show the kindest patience to them.

The right thing to do is often terribly hard to those for whom survival is a battle, who don’t have the luxury of distance, or the luck of gentler friendships. The world has made them understandably jaded and cynical. They probably will find it hard to trust you. And that’s also okay. You don’t need them to.

At the end of the day, what matters is that you don’t give up on them. You’re there if they ever need anything. You try to be encouragement when you can be, but you also understand the hurt they feel may never allow things to be as you’d hope. And that too is okay.

You may never know what it is in their hearts that makes them the way they are. But you understand that they are worthy of your kindness, because that’s who you want to be. And even if sometimes you feel frustrated and somehow make things worse, well, you’re human too.

No matter what they did, you want them to know it’s okay. You want them to be happy, even if it’s not something easy to say. And that too, is okay.

Note: Originally posted on Facebook on July 8, 2019

There are many things in this world that are not under our control. That’s fine. Worrying about those things is not productive, so try not to. Focus your energies instead on the things that you can reasonably affect around you. Do what you can to make the experiences of life around you something better first. If the opportunity arises to do something big and important, go for it. But not every circumstance is the same. Make the most of it, do what you earnestly, sincerely believe is right, to the best of your ability and understanding.

We are only responsible for what is within our power to change, nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes we think we are weak when we are strong, and vice versa. We cannot be certain that we are right, but it is our responsibility to try to understand as much as we can, and act according to the reason that makes us uniquely human.

Mistakes are inevitable. No one is perfect. We are all born into this world knowing nothing, forced to struggle to learn the truth in a world filled with uncertain doubts, grand deceptions, and unfathomable mysteries. That many of us rise above these things and reach towards wisdom despite them, should be applauded as the triumph of human decency and spirit.

Do not expect things to be easy, because all that’s left are the hard problems that caused past intellectual giants to stumble and fall. It takes humility to recognize that the challenges we face are not trivial, and that we may not see much progress in our lifetime. But if we can plant the seeds of the future, we can hope that the countless generations after us will be eternally grateful for our willingness to volunteer and sacrifice to do what we believe in.

Try not to let the harsh realities of the world shape you, but instead, adventure to reshape the world around you in a way that is beneficial to all who share in this place we call home.

Try to understand, and be gentle to those who are ignorant, for not everyone is as lucky as you who have the luxury to seek sometimes painful truths rather than the comfort of ideas that console and justify. And be always vigilant against allowing ourselves to be intellectually lazy, seeking convenient facts that excuse our past choices, rather than ones that will help us to make better decisions in the future.

It is likely beyond human comprehension to see the full view of the truth. We are invariably tied to the senses and our nature. But perhaps if we make the effort, we can still catch a glimpse of the possible, through the power of imagination and creativity.

Life is a gift, a rare chance to be a part of something exciting and wondrous. And though there will be moments when we don’t feel well, that’s okay too. Not every day needs to be bliss. Life tends to be a myriad of experiences, and so long as on balance, there is more happiness than suffering, I would argue the world is good enough to justify protecting and improving it, making it all the more worthwhile.

Ideally, we do so in a way that is fair to everyone, without exception.

Just some thoughts.

The truth of the matter is that there are people in this world who have left a lasting and profound impression on me. Were it not for them, I likely would never have learned the lessons I did and become the person I am. Ultimately, for that I am truly grateful to have crossed paths.

It was kind of surreal. We’d had to postpone the wedding on several occasions due to the COVID-19 pandemic so far. And then, there was a window of time where it seemed like restrictions were easing and life might go back to normal. My fiancee was tired of pushing things back. She really wanted to move forward with her life, and I felt the same.

It’s kind of strange. To be married. To have this ring on my finger that represents a promise and means so much. In some ways I never thought I’d reach this point. For a long time in my life, I’d assumed that good things happened to other people, that my life was just a bunch of suffering and stuff that happened for reasons beyond my control.

I’m happy. Somehow, my life seems to have turned out okay. I’m married to a wonderful girl, kind, intelligent, beautiful, innocent, and adventurous. My dream girl for all intents and purposes. She understands me. She gets my weird quirks and listens to my silly intellectual meanderings. She’s the one person I can be myself around. Apparently I am something of a cat.

She visited me as often as she could when I was in the hospital. I matter to her, and she matters to me. We click. We have the same taste in video games. We are very silly at home when no one else is around to disapprove of our silliness. She has an imagination, a beautiful, creative, brilliant mind. She is inherently decent. The core values that really, deeply matter, we share.

At the end of the day, what matters in a partner is that you find someone you can grow old together with. Someone who can share in the adventure of life. Someone you can really, deeply trust the judgment of. This is why I chose her. She is wise beyond her years.

She isn’t perfect. No one is. There are things I can find a bit annoying. Arguments about ideas that stem from the very different cultures that we grew up in. But these aren’t important. I don’t need the One to agree with me all the time. In fact, I want her to challenge me if she thinks I’m wrong. What’s important is the intangibles. Her sense of humanity. Her thoughtful consideration. Her willingness to be reasoned with and to try to understand why.

Ultimately, I want her to be happy. Unlike many others in my past, her dreams had a place for me. She’s brought me such happiness in the past three years. Without her, I doubt I would have stayed strong in the face of many of the challenges my life threw at me. She’s been a pillar of support, the light of my life. With her, I am finally, truly happy.

I hope that you, dear reader, if you haven’t already, will be able to find such happiness as well.